Month 2, Part 2: The Fruit of Self-Control
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
CHECKING IN
This seems like a good time to check in with our Neuma Project participants. We’ve received some wonderful feedback from many of you! Some examples:
The lessons are very thoughtful!!
I cannot believe you all are putting together such meaningful materials on your own!
I appreciated the questions that prompted me to think a little deeper and more concretely, to engage more with the scripture. Jer Swigart’s story is beautiful, and for me, a little haunting. And Kater Bowler’s benediction blessing was also beautiful, and challenging.
I’ll be honest, I haven’t looked at one of the single lessons!
Where is the next lesson, I’ve been waiting all week! :)
My Neuma Group has met and it was a great mix of people we knew and new friends.
I still have no idea what our Neuma Group is supposed to be doing!
No matter if you’ve been diligently studying along with each batch of learning materials, or haven’t opened a single email (in which case you won’t be seeing this ;) … it’s ok! Again, our hope is for this to be a blessing for FPC and way for us all to grow in our individual, and communal, discipleship as we live into the Fruits of the Spirit more fully in our day-to-day lives.
If you want to go back and catch up on some lessons you might have missed you can always do that HERE.
INTRODUCTION
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Some of you might choose to do it all in one sitting. Some of you may do one section per day. Some of you might work through it multiple times. We truly want this to work FOR you! Our prayer is that you’ll feel a sense of joy that comes from spending time in communion with God and then with others as you live out the “practices” you’ll be invited to each week. If your participation ever feels burdensome, then take a break! The Neuma Project exists to assist in your discipleship - both individually and communally with others at FPC, and in your neighborhoods. It doesn’t exist to guilt you into time spent in the word and community. (though if you need a little push, we’re fine to allow this to do that)
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Our vision is that this will be something your family can do together. We will always include a “Neuma Kids” section that you can do with your littles.
We also believe teenage kids can participate in all of the content as well as adults, bringing their own insights and questions. HOWEVER, we are well aware teens + parents + faith conversations can be tricky. For this reason, during Act II on Sunday mornings teens will have the chance to engage this content with each other and their leaders. If all you are able to ‘accomplish’ is a check-in with them on Sunday afternoons, consider it a win! If you are able to sit down and go through the materials together, then you deserve an award and come teach us your ways :)
Start By Stopping
(If you aren’t in a place where you can do that, set a reminder to come back. But please don’t try to cram this in while getting kids ready for school, or replying to emails, or watching Netflix)Don’t talk, don’t move, don’t do anything except breathe. Look around, listen, smell… and be still until it’s uncomfortable. Say a prayer- no agenda, just whatever you want to say directed toward God. If praying isn’t something you do often- give it a shot. Just talk/think/share. In fact, we encourage you to pray aloud! It might feel odd at first, but again, there’s no pressure to do it “correctly.” Just fill God in on your heart & enjoy the quiet.
We often think of “self-control” as being something restrictive. A practice, or action, we employ to keep us from making a harmful choice.
But what if self-control, the kind that comes from the Spirit, is meant to lead us toward flourishing?
JOURNAL
How would you define the term “self-control?” Write down a good handful of sentences describing what that looks like in accessible terms.
What are 3-4 real world examples where folks wrestle with self-control.
Do you have any areas in your own life where self-control is easy for you? What about the opposite?
WATCH
This short film is 8 minutes long. While watching, see if you see any examples of ‘control’ being used, ignored, or wrestled with.
RESPONDING TO SCRIPTURE
The Fruit of Self-Control
Read The Message version below from Romans 6. If comfortable, read it aloud.
I can anticipate the response that is coming: “I know that all God’s commands are spiritual, but I’m not. Isn’t this also your experience?” Yes. I’m full of myself—after all, I’ve spent a long time in sin’s prison. What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.
But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?
The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
Romans 7:14-25 (The Message)
REFLECTING ON THE SCRIPTURE
Settle in and get quiet. Take a few deep breaths. Ask the Spirit to illuminate the scriptures for you.
After you’ve slowed yourself down with silence and breath, read the scripture again.
Then slowly work through the prompts below. Use your neuma journal to write down what comes to your heart and mind.
How familiar were you with this passage before today? Is there anything that surprised you about Paul’s vulnerability in writing this?
Have you ever experienced a season similar to what Paul was describing; when you kept doing something you hated doing?
Why do you think self-control is listed as a fruit of the Spirit? By definition, that implies the goodness of the Spirit causes us to exhibit self-control. What does this stir up in your imagination?
Paul is talking about sin. What is the relationship between self-control and sin? Does a lack of self-control always result in sin?
Paul concludes Romans 6 by saying that Jesus Christ is the “answer” to his questions and despair. In some ways that can feel like a good “church kid” answer! In other ways this truth can have a profound effect on our day-to-day lives. Write a bit about how Jesus can help guide your attempts to live out the fruits of the Spirit.
ACTIVE PRACTICE: Self-Control
Hopefully the Spirit, through the Scripture study, activities, and materials, has shown you that self-control is NOT just about depriving yourself of something sinful. But it is also about allowing the Spirit to lead you (control) toward something good and of God! Spirit-control as a fruit of the Spirit.
It was once said that Spirit led self-control is the “ability to submit to God’s guidance in our lives.” Your Neuma Experiment this month is to choose at least one of the following prompts and see follow through with where God is guiding you.
If you are going through these materials as they come out - then you know we are entering the season of Advent! Choose one of FPC’s Advent Mission opportunities and really commit. Don’t simply write a check to the Toy Store (thought that’s ok too!) but serve the day of. Don’t simply buy supplies for Cup of Cool Water, but see if there’s a way you can volunteer to truly bless the teenagers living downtown. Don’t simply buy a coat for Mission Community Outreach Center, but spend time learning their mission, etc. You get the picture!
Take Christmas treats to every neighbor on your block. Yes, even the house you really don’t want to.
If, and when, it snows - clear the sidewalks on your block. Not just the stretch of sidewalk in front of your own home.
Take 10 minutes each day for a week and either text or call 3 people you haven’t reached out to in a while. Just to see how they are doing.
Invite someone you don’t really know or recognize from church over for a meal.
NEUMA KIDS
ACTIVITY
The “Marshmallow Test” is a well known experiment from Stanford professor and psychologist Walter Mischel. Watch the video below to see it in action!
Have your kid(s) take part in the marshmallow experiment! You can use any other sort of treat OR if you’d rather not use food - you can grab a favorite toy or activity you know they’d have a hard time resisting.
There is no expectation that you film it - though if you want to we’d love to see it ;)
Alternate Option: Instead of simply letting them know they’d get a second marshmallow if they make it the full 10 minutes, we’d encourage the “reward” to involve someone else! For example, “If you can wait 10 minutes to eat your marshmallow we can give one to your brother/dad/friend!”
DEBRIEF QUESTIONS WITH YOUR KID(S)
How hard was it to wait? OR Tell me why you decided not to wait to eat/use your treat?
Did it help knowing your friend/sibling would get a reward too if you waited? Why or why not?
Say something like: Self-control is to trust God to help us know what is good for us. To know that he wants the best for us and the people around us - and that we can choose be be part of that!
BENEDICTION
“May we refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. May we choose self-control. May we be drunk only by joy. May we be impassioned only by my faith. May we be influenced only by God. May we be taught only by Christ. May we choose self-control.”
-adapted from Max Lucado
NEUMA GROUPS
(small group guide)
We’ll be offering time and space to meet together on our Gathering Sunday on December 8th. There will be a “Christmas Cookie Party” after worship so make sure and check that out! Then when folks are done there, head to your Neuma Group rooms and we’ll have a discussion guide for you at that time!
Further Resources
Please use these links to supplement your time this week. Listen as you pray or as you drive to work. Listen as you respond to the reflection prompts or as you do homework. Listen as you get ready for bed at night or don’t listen at all!
(Click above image to watch the short film)
Since his youth, Martin’s life has been marred by chaos, violence, and rejection. But just when all hope seems lost, he begins reading a book that ignites what most people believed would never occur in Martin’s life…transformation.