Month 1, Week 4: The Fruit of Love: Loving Our Enemy
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
PLEASE READ:
To be blunt, there are times we don’t want to love our enemies. We want to be hateful. We want to demean the people who demean us. We want to dehumanize the people dehumanized those who care about.
But that’s not the way of Jesus. The way of Jesus is love of neighbor and enemy.
This doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries or that we put ourselves in positions to be abused. Unfortunately abuse happens. Evil exists. It is absolutely ok to have healthy boundaries when it comes to abuse and evil you have experienced. It might be necessary to talk through that with a counselor or trusted adult.
But the way of Jesus does mean that we don’t return hate for hate. We meet hate with love instead. We hope this week’s lesson points to Christ in all ways.
“I really only love God as much as I love the person I love the least.”
-Dorothy Day
INTRODUCTION
Scripture talks about the fruit of love a lot. A LOT. For our first month in The Neuma Project we want to look at four specific ways Scripture calls us to love:
Love of God
Love of oneself
Love of Neighbor
LOVE YOUR ENEMY
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Some of you might choose to do it all in one sitting. Some of you may do one section per day. Some of you might work through it multiple times. We truly want this to work FOR you! Our prayer is that you’ll feel a sense of joy that comes from spending time in communion with God and then with others as you live out the “practices” you’ll be invited to each week. If your participation ever feels burdensome, then take a break! The Neuma Project exists to assist in your discipleship - both individually and communally with others at FPC, and in your neighborhoods. It doesn’t exist to guilt you into time spent in the word and community. (though if you need a little push, we’re fine to allow this to do that)
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Our vision is that this will be something your family can do together. We will always include a “Neuma Kids” section that you can do with your littles.
We also believe teenage kids can participate in all of the content as well as adults, bringing their own insights and questions. HOWEVER, we are well aware teens + parents + faith conversations can be tricky. For this reason, during Act II on Sunday mornings teens will have the chance to engage this content with each other and their leaders. If all you are able to ‘accomplish’ is a check-in with them on Sunday afternoons, consider it a win! If you are able to sit down and go through the materials together, then you deserve an award and come teach us your ways :)
Start By Stopping
(If you aren’t in a place where you can do that, set a reminder to come back. But please don’t try to cram this in while getting kids ready for school, or replying to emails, or watching Netflix)Don’t talk, don’t move, don’t do anything except breathe. Look around, listen, smell… and be still until it’s uncomfortable. Say a prayer- no agenda, just whatever you want to say directed toward God. If praying isn’t something you do often- give it a shot. Just talk/think/share. In fact, we encourage you to pray aloud! It might feel odd at first, but again, there’s no pressure to do it “correctly.” Just fill God in on your heart & enjoy the quiet.
WATCH
This Bible Project video provide great insight into our Scripture for this week. It’s 7 minutes long and would be a great thing to watch with your kids (of any age) if you need an easy way to include them in the Neuma Project this week.
STORYTELLING
Before you take 5 minutes to listen to Jer’s story of “loving your enemy” take a few minutes and
define enemy in your Neuma Journal. How would you define an enemy? Write it down…
According to your own definition, do you have anyone in your life you consider to be an enemy?
Jer Swigart's work with Global Immersion seeks to learn, love, and lead in ways that disarm violence, bridge differences, and awaken imaginations to restorative possibilities. He spends much of his life trying to learn, and then teach others, the peacemaking ways of Jesus.
Listen as Jer tells the story of loving one’s enemy in the most fraught of situations in the middle east. Also listen how the concept of “enemy” is defined (or re-defined).
RESPONDING TO THE STORY
Jer mentions that his friend defines an enemy as,
“not necessarily someone who is enacting violence (harm) against us, but that person, or group of people, who exist beyond the reach of our empathy. That person where if something bad happened to them… we wouldn’t care that much.”
How does that definition make you feel? How is it different than how you defined “an enemy” earlier?
If you’re like me (Brad), there are far more people I interact with that exist beyond the reach of my empathy than there are people causing me harm. How does this re-definition feel valid to you? In what ways might you push back on this definition?
Jer wraps up the story of Daoud’s family being unfairly inspected with this reflection,
“When Daoud refused to be enemies. When he loved his enemy by simply humanizing them to his children, that was a catalyst for transformation… that was part of the power of what Jesus was saying by “love your enemy.” For it is love alone that can transform that enemy into a friend.”
How did this story affect you? Was it hard to relate to? Was it inspiring? Did it stir any memories of times you have chosen to respond similarly OR chosen to respond as if they exist beyond the reach of your empathy?
RESPONDING TO SCRIPTURE
Love for Enemies
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Luke 6:27-36
REFLECTING ON THE SCRIPTURE
Settle in and get quiet. Take a few deep breaths. Ask the Spirit to illuminate the scriptures for you.
After you’ve slowed yourself down with silence and breath, read the scripture again.
Then slowly work through the prompts below. Use your neuma journal to write down what comes to your heart and mind.
Jesus often uses the “Rule of Three,” where he presents three truths or options or challenges in a row. He does this twice here in this passage. What are the two examples of Jesus using the “Rule of Three?”
Below are three ways Jesus says we are to love our enemies. Think of someone in your life that is beyond the reach of your empathy. Which of these three love practices would be easiest to do toward that person? Which would be the most difficult?
do good to those who hate us
bless those who curse us
prayer for those who mistreat us
Below are three ways Jesus says we are to love our enemies in action. Again, think of someone in your life that is beyond the reach of your empathy. Which of these three love actions would be easiest to do toward that person? Which would be the most difficult?
If someone slaps you, turn the other cheek to them
If someone takes your coat, give them your shirt as well
Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back
Be fully honest with yourself. How absurd to these commands seem to you as a practical way to live YOUR live today? Write about it in your journal for a bit.
THE TRUTH IS…
… just about all of us doing this study is very aware that Jesus calls us to love our enemies! We just don’t do a great job of following this part of Jesus’s commands for our lives. So we are going to cut this Bible Study a little short and invite you to do Bible Doing this week. We have included both a “Spiritual Practice” and an “Active Practice” to move us toward a love of our enemies.
SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
Each month during The Neuma Project you will be invited to try an experiment. Some of the experiments will be really simple, while others will stretch you out of your comfort zone. Just like an experiment at school, we want you to try them all.
Love Your Enemy
1. Scripture says that we are children of God, made in God’s image. Imagine a child you love…bring their face to mind. Sit with the image in your mind for a few minutes.
2. When you imagine this child, what do you feel? Write down some words or phrases that describe how you feel.
3. Now bring to mind an “enemy” of yours. This could be someone you actually know or someone you perceive as an enemy or who is oppositional to you/what you believe/value. Now imagine them as a child. Sit with that image for a minute. Notice if holding them in your mind this way shifts or softens your idea/feelings toward them.
4. This person is created in God’s image. What piece(s) of God’s image is reflected in them? Write a few things down.
5. Imagine God looking at your enemy the same way you look at a child you love. Imagine God thinking of about them the way you think about this child. Imagine God speaking to them the same way you would speak to the child. Notice if holding them in your mind as God’s child shifts or softens your idea/feelings toward them.
6. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus exhorts us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Pray now your “enemy.”
Bonus: Continue to pray for your enemy on a regular basis and notice what happens in your spirit/heart. Set a reminder in your phone or put it in your calendar. Try to pray for them every day for at least two weeks.
ACTIVE PRACTICE: Love Your Enemy
Below are 8 practical ways to actively practice love toward an enemy. We do not expect you to immediately adopt all 8! However, it would be wise not to simply ignore Jesus’ command for us. Pray through these eight options and see if a couple seem doable this week. Write them down, look at them daily - and live them out at least once this week.
Choose not to ignore those in your life who treat you badly, or frustrate you, or rub you the wrong way. Instead, pay attention to them. They might be colleagues at work, fellow students in school, or neighbors. When you see that one of them is hurting or struggling with an unmet need, step in and help.
If you observe that someone who treats you badly is troubled and might need to talk, offer to listen. Don’t offer advice unless they ask for it and don’t try to solve their problems for them; just listen.
Be willing to forgive others who have wronged you. When you forgive people who have treated you badly, you point them to Christ. Few things are more powerful in human interaction than forgiveness.
Celebrate the successes and good fortune of others, even if they have treated you badly in the past. Be the first to congratulate them. Showing grace to people who know they don’t deserve it will show them the face of Christ.
Support people who take a stand for what is right even if you don’t like them and even if they have treated you badly in the past.
Be willing to sacrifice to help others who are in need, even if they have treated you badly in the past. Showing people Christ-like grace can make a powerful impression on people, especially those who know they have wronged you.
Refuse to pile on, gloat, or join the chorus of criticism when someone who has treated you badly finds him or herself in trouble. Never take pleasure in the misfortune of others (i.e. avoid envy and jealousy), even if they have treated you badly.
Refuse to participate in gossip about people, even those who have behaved like an enemy toward you.
NEUMA KIDS
SCRIPTURE
If your family is a part of FPC, you should have been given a wonderful kids Bible sometime this fall (if that isn’t true, email Ryan ASAP and he’ll get you one!) Read Luke 6:27-36 with your kid(s). Trust your own gut in asking any follow up questions or allowing time for your kid(s) to say what they are confused by or what they think is cool about what Jesus is saying here.
ACTIVITY
You’ll need a pen or two and a stack of post-it notes.
Ask your kid if they have either experienced someone being mean to them, or noticed kids being mean to someone else. You can start off by telling your own story or someone who was mean to you. See if they’ll share what they’ve witnessed and how it made them feel.
Take a post-it note and write down a name or two of someone who had been mean to you or treated you poorly. Encourage your kid(s) to do so as well. Stick them up in a grouping on a wall/fridge/etc. Please put one name per post-it note. (If they aren’t able to write you can write the names down yourself!)
Ask, “what kinds of things do you like people to do for you? What makes you feel special or loved?’ Have them write down their responses on post-it notes and put them up near the names.
Ask the kids how they would feel about doing one of the things on the nice wall, for the person who is mean to them all the time. What do they think would happen if they did something really nice for someone who was mean to them?
Place a “nice things” post-it next to the name of someone who had been mean. Commit to encouraging and/or helping your kid follow through on that act of loving kindness. Make sure to debrief how it went and felt with your kid(s).
BENEDICTION
Spend some time with Kate Bowler’s “a blessing for when loving your enemy seems too big of an ask.” Read it aloud if comfortable, even if it’s just to yourself!
NEUMA GROUPS
(small group guide)
Get To Know Each Other
We’ll be offering time and space to meet together on our Gathering Sunday on Nov. 10th. There will be a “care fair” after worship so make sure and check that out! Then when folks are done there, head to your Neuma Group rooms and we’ll have a discussion guide for you at that time!
Further Resources
Please use these links to supplement your time this week. Listen as you pray or as you drive to work. Listen as you respond to the reflection prompts or as you do homework. Listen as you get ready for bed at night or don’t listen at all!
(Click above image to watch the short film)
An Afghan refugee named Bibi Bahrami – and the members of her little Indiana mosque – come face to face with a U.S. Marine who has secret plans to bomb their community center. But Mac McKinney's plan takes an unexpected turn. Directed by Joshua Seftel, 'STRANGER AT THE GATE' is a story of grace, transformation, and hope.